Stories

Paige Natzke 5/12/11 Block 2   Dear Future Paul, If you’re reading this you’re in middle school. Congratulations. I never thought you would make it. Right now, you’re in third grade, you’re still having trouble with our math facts. Now…

It’s obvious to me that I have AMAZING friends. And I’m not using amazing here in the overused way that so many of us do these days...my people are honestly amazing!!  My friends seem to anticipate what I need and…

Paul led me to conclude that walking is overrated.  It was something that we were really concerned about when we got the initial diagnosis, at birth.  Our kid would be different, and it would be obvious because he wouldn’t be…

So...I was drinking coffee yesterday out of my new mug and thinking. Thinking about Paul and about how people have likened grief to riding waves. It's pretty accurate really. One moment I'll be fine and the next moment grief washes over…

One of the things that we have to do after losing a child is find a new definition of who we are. I was primarily Paul’s Dad, especially after Paige left for college. I need to find a new identity…

I never wanted to be the Dad of the handicapped kid. No one really asks for that. Growing up, they were the kids in the separate room, at the end of the hall at school. I think that I was…

Paul didn’t stand for the National Anthem. We went to a few sporting events each year, and that was an awkward 2 minutes for us. Kathie would get irritated when they said, “Please stand for the National Anthem”. She thought…

Paul needed a lot of help sometimes, and I enjoyed helping him. I have nearly infinite patience for most things, especially for him, and I could usually discern what he really needed. Sometimes he would act like he needed more…

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me since I started writing these. I admit it has led to some awkward and emotional interactions. Awkwardness never really bothered me and I admit I kind of enjoy and appreciate…

Most days we are functioning a little better now. Yesterday we had our first sled hockey event, just an equipment inventory, and it was way more emotional than a hockey event like that should be. Today Kathie went to her…